“I know it when I see it” seems like the best way to allocate the nerds from the cool kids. There still may be a theoretical checklist that one subscribes to when deciding what label to administer, but for the most part, I definitely ‘know’ when I’m talking to a bandwagoner or a ‘real fan’ in the first 2 minutes of that interaction.

I will, however, object ever so kindly to your Womanizer analogy. Even when you are a young man, it is not socially acceptable to cheer for 10 different NFL teams. Hell, even when you’re a child, you shouldn’t be practising this pedophilic behaviour. I will take the liberty to tweak the analogy to make it a bit more accurate. Being a true sports fan is akin to being the wife in a Mormon-type polygamous marriage. You’re a chick, so in the world of our double-standards, it is never acceptable to have slept around before your wedding to your man. And likely, you will inherit your love for this man based on your parents decision. You’ll have to share him, while he sleeps around finding new wives or behaves like a sleezeball – all with a smile on your face. When he comes to you drunk with the chance of you becoming a mamma, and you end up striking the jackpot with a baby on the way, you will celebrate that momentous championship for all it’s worth. And then go back to being a happy little wife, with all of your other best-friend wives. Yeah, this got a little weird. But the point remains, you gotta be loyal to your man!

And to answer your question, I would not file for divorce with any of my sports teams. By filing for divorce, you are forever giving up your ‘true fan’ status. You will always be a bandwagoner, if ever, you decide to come back when things get going again. That is not a boat I want to be in, nor the type of woman I think I’d be!

~ R